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Monday, November 5

Caught In A Time Warp

Some time back our team received one of those invitations from a large PSU company inviting us to pitch...Now, over the years I have had a fair bit of experience pitching for many of these PSU entities. At one time I was a freelance expert at them...These pitches(which I did for a Jhandewalan based agency)funded the first few EMIs of my flat LOL

The memo brought back memories of the 'caught-in-a-time-warpness' of these companies...

A typical memo reads like this...

Dear Mr. So-and-so,

We are pleased to announce that we have finally woken up from habitual deep slumber and would like to share some yawns with you before a committee of disinterested but highly qualified members.

Please cancel all your prior meetings for us. Even though we are erratic in our advertising and we will call 30 agencies in alphabetical order!

Oh, by the way we have scheduled the meeting on a public holiday because our head of committee gets a kick out of parading the 30 odd agencies while he dunks his biscuit in Darjeeling tea!

And yes, we want 36degree, 180 degree, 360 degree ideas but all in 20 minutes!!

And please don't bother to show any creds, we don't look at them anyways!

Please be concise. As the bell-keeper is a trainee and the tea-breaks are more important than your presentation!

And yes please come early in the morning and keep the entire day free as our chairman gets a personal glee out of re-arranging the presentations at the last moment.

We are enclosing a brochure(which hasn't been updated in 4 years). It should answer most of your queries because things hardly change at our company over 4-5 years...

We assume, all you spineless agencies will participate. So, do not bother to confirm!For any other details, please call Mr. XYZ only between 330-415pm on Monday, Thursday and Fridays...Rest of the days, he is on planned casual leave.

Regards

Chief File Pusher

Enclosure : (i) Old data
(ii) Not so relevant creative units

Okay, I was at my sarcy best, but you do get the hang, don't you:-)

5 comments:

meraj said...

was the letter without any blemishes, without any stains...am referring to the crimson of the paan? :)

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Kapil said...

Wow! that's so bang on. I work with a PSU account and I really must tell you - you are BANG on in the attitude used in here.

Priya said...

luv the attitude
creative sarcasm at it's best!

Jo Phillips said...

That's hilarious!
How are you?